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About Deviant A Beautiful MemoryFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Literature
The Storm
The Storm
They say maybe its freeing
that the storm swoops in
without giving any real meaning
but with no regard for need
at the end of the day does the storm disapate
or simply gather speed?
Nothing at all is for sure
so do you wait it out
or give in to this force of nature?
Perhaps you should have known
you think life is perfect
but that's just the calm before the storm
They say maybe it's freeing
that the storm swoops in
without giving any real meaning
but even with no regard for need
i still hope the storm disapates
before it gathers destructive speeds.
:iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria
:iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 1 0
Wake Up :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 3 Rock Hill Boyz :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 1 7 Heels and Fancy :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 5 Ice Princess :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 22 6 Garden of Eden :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 1 7 Bella :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 0
Literature
Survive In A State Of Fear
I feel damaged
down to my core.
Everyday I feel like
I'm heading off to war.
I try to appear strong
even when I hear it's a sin.
I'm not sure if I believe that,
but i wonder will anyone want me again?
He's changed who I am inside.
My old life is like a myth.
I know this is true because
apparently now I'm too hard to live with.
I cry every now and again.
Reality isn't real it seems.
Will my nightmares ever
turn back into my dreams?
Dreaming is all I've ever really known.
Is anything really real?
Just because tears fall
doesn't mean I really feel.
I feel so detached and numb.
I'm in shock; the pain took over.
It seems like a distant memory
when my days were filled with love and laughter.
Will I ever be happy again?
Or will these feelings always be here?
I guess I better start learning
how to survive in a state of fear.
:iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria
:iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 1 3
Fit for a king :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 2 Floating Casino :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 1 6 The American Dream :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 3 statue silhouette :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 2 3 reaching :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 4 .... :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 2 The Hand That Feeds :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 3 Topsy Turvy :iconbella-memoria:bella-memoria 0 8

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deviantID

bella-memoria
A Beautiful Memory
United States
Current Residence: austin, texas
Favourite genre of music: all kinds
Favourite photographer: Robert Frank
Favourite cartoon character: care bears, rainbow brite, my little pony, the true things that tell you that you were an 80's
Personal Quote: sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down
Interests
First Sign of Summer

Well summer has officially begun. You can argue that summer started as soon as the kids got out of school or you can argue that technically it doesn’t begin until June 21 (Summer equinox) but regardless of the details, it’s definitely hot enough to be summer in my book! Along with the heat comes the more relaxed attitude that is characteristic of the season. Does anyone else have a problem accepting this?

Don’t get me wrong, I WANT to accept this idea. Every year I count the days down until summer where I fantasize that my days will be filled with exciting travel plans balanced with lazy days in a hammock reading a breezy novel and sipping ice tea. Family and friends will come over for dinner more frequently (since we’re all in vacation mode right?) and my nights will be spent with good friends, good food, good conversation, and a damn fine wine. Sadly, this never seems to happen. I feel awkward having so much “free” time. I feel like I’m not being productive. I feel that my time can and should be spent in much better ways. And instead of being recharged at the end of the season and ready to begin the fall with a newfound energy, MY summer ends with less energy than I began it with! And I suspect I’m not alone in this.

People are busy. I get it. You can’t possibly take time out of your day to relax, take a nap, read a book, watch your puppy chase a butterfly, etc. There’s work, housework, appointments, even vacation has become stressful nowadays with all the planning that must be done before hand and all the financial repairs done afterwards! I feel the same way. Yet I also feel increasingly like this is something I MUST make a priority in my life. If for no other reason, for my sanity. I have to have time to recharge my soul. My boyfriend knows firsthand the repercussions that come about when I don’t take time for myself. I’m in a “blah” mood. However, that blah mood can quickly become an upset. I walk around exhausted, complaining about things, etc. My normally optimistic attitude will rapidly become me seeing the glass as damn empty! This is definitely not the “me” that I know (and certainly not the one my boyfriend fell in love with) and yet I just can’t seem to find the time to do what I know is necessary to my well-being.

So what are we to do? I have started with baby steps. I am compiling a list of what I would do if I had absolutely NOTHING to do for a day. I also have another list of how I would spend my time if I had a week left to live (with no boundaries including financial, etc). Now hear me out before you write me off as being morbid. This list really helps me realize where my priorities lie and THEN I can also see where I’m not living in accordance with my priorities. For example, one of the things on my list is that I would see the world during my final days. However, when’s the last time I traveled and actually saw the city/country I traveled to? Not only taking pictures, but really experienced that place? That’s a perfect example of not living in accordance with my priorities. Now of course it’s not feasible to travel every day of my life. But I can start with baby steps. I can plan a trip for next summer. I can figure out what country I would like to visit the most and do some research into that country. It can even be as small as eating at a restaurant serving the cuisine of the country of my choice. The point is not WHAT you do but that you are DOING something!

SO, suggestions for comments on this blog:
• any thoughts or comments you have about summertime and it’s lackadaisical attitude
• ideas of small, feasible ways that one could start to reclaim their time to nourish their soul
• for those of you that have this practice mastered, how do you do it?!

And with that, I challenge each and every one of you to take just 15 minutes for yourself today to do whatever you feel like doing. AND not feel bad about it!

Thanks for reading,
Lindsay
  • Listening to: 8mm
  • Reading: your first triathlon
  • Drinking: water

Comments


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:iconwtdpos:
WTDPOS Featured By Owner May 2, 2008
Thanks for the :+devwatch:
Reply
:iconstellarbabe:
STELLARbabe Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2008
Bella, darling!!!
Long time, I've miss you doll face.
Still at LiveJournal?
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:iconflinkeshoernchen:
Flinkeshoernchen Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008
Thanks for the :+fav:
:)
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:iconroseonyxis:
RoseOnyxis Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks very much for the devwatch =D
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:iconsitara-leotastock:
Sitara-LeotaStock Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2007
Thanks for the watch!
Reply
:iconfoureyes:
foureyes Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2007
not the same bernie,....I don't think :)
is nice to hear from you :hug:
Reply
:iconmiss-mashael-stock:
Miss-Mashael-stock Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2007   Photographer
Thanx For adding me =)
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:iconvampirella87:
Vampirella87 Featured By Owner May 30, 2007
Hey there :wave:

How are you? :)
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:iconelandria:
Elandria Featured By Owner May 17, 2007  Professional General Artist
Thanks for adding me to your devwatch! :hug: Much appreciated!
Reply
:icontwisted-soul:
twisted-soul Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2006
hi love. long time no see. how ya been? :hug:
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